Over the years, I’ve seen a clear pattern in my coaching practice: the people who make the most progress are not necessarily the ones with the most talent, experience or ambition. They’re the ones who know how to show up to coaching prepared, open and ready to act.
Executive coaching works best when you treat it as a partnership — not a service you “receive” but a process you actively engage in. When you do that, breakthroughs don’t just happen in the coaching room; they show up in your leadership, your relationships and your results.
Here’s what I’ve learned makes the difference.
1. Preparation is More About Mindset Than Notes
Too many people think preparing for a coaching session means listing all their current problems or updates. That’s fine, but it’s not enough. The real preparation is mental and emotional.
I ask my clients to come in with three things: openness, curiosity and vulnerability.
- Openness means you’re willing to see things differently.
- Curiosity means you’re ready to ask “What if…?” rather than defend “Here’s why not.”
- Vulnerability means you’re willing to admit what’s not working — even if it stings a little.
I remember one Finance director I worked with who came in very guarded. She was used to being the smartest person in the room. In our first two sessions, we got nowhere. Then one day she said, “I’m just going to tell you the truth — I feel like I’m failing at motivating my team.” That was the turning point. Once she dropped the armour, we could actually start solving the real issues.
2. Define Success in Your Own Words
If you don’t know what “success” means for you in coaching, you’ll either chase someone else’s version or you’ll feel like you’re not making progress even when you are.
Some clients want to build confidence. Others want to get better at conflict management. Some want to create a high-performance team. Whatever it is, name it clearly.
One senior VP I worked with thought he wanted to become a better public speaker. After a few conversations, we realised that wasn’t the true goal — he actually wanted to inspire his team to believe in a bigger vision. Once we knew that, we shifted from presentation techniques to storytelling, influence and emotional connection. That’s when he started seeing results.
3. Reflect and Apply — That’s Where the Growth Happens
The coaching session itself is just the spark. The fire comes from what you do afterwards.
One client of mine developed a brilliant habit: after each session, he’d write a short memo for himself — what we discussed, what resonated and one action to take in the next week. Over time, those memos became his personal leadership manual.
Without reflection and deliberate application, insights fade and old habits return. If you take 30 minutes after each session to pause, write and plan, your growth compounds.
4. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Breakthroughs rarely come from staying inside your comfort zone. The uncomfortable moments in coaching — the ones where you think, “I can’t believe I just said that” or “That feels risky” — are often where the biggest shifts begin.
I once worked with a leader who realised she avoided giving feedback because she didn’t want to upset people. Naming that fear out loud was uncomfortable but it was also the start of building a feedback culture in her team.
In coaching, discomfort is not a red flag. It’s a green light.
5. Start Early, Don’t Wait for a Crisis
I often hear from senior leaders, “I wish I had learned this 20 years ago.” You don’t have to wait until you’re in the C-suite — or in trouble — to start working with a coach. The earlier you build self-awareness, emotional intelligence and communication skills, the faster you’ll grow into the leader you want to be.
I’ve seen young managers leapfrog ahead in their careers simply because they invested in coaching early, avoided common leadership traps and developed the confidence to take on bigger roles.
My Bottom Line
Executive coaching isn’t about fixing you. It’s about revealing the best version of you — and then helping you live and lead from that place every single day.
Come prepared. Know your definition of success. Reflect and apply your learning. Lean into discomfort. And if you can, start now — not “one day.”
That’s how you get the most out of coaching, and that’s when you’ll look back and think…
That was the turning point in my leadership journey.